i want to give up on you.
i've tried so hard to give up on you.
i tell myself i've given up on you.
but it's not true.
i CAN'T.
September 2008- September 2009: A whole year to get to know you, become your friend, fall in love, become companions, talk on the phone all night and day, believe in your love, be inseparable, gave my heart, body, and soul to you, made you my world, helped you out with your problems, be there for you through thick and thin, become depressed, found out about your cheating, hurt for weeks, decided to give you another chance because I was too blind to see the truth, got caught up in giving myself to you again, you cheated on me again, then you moved away, I was still there for you, finally realized the truth, decided to leave you...
September 2009- September 2010: Hurt for months, had visions of what used to be, pain and anger tormented me every night, my weakness transformed into strength little by little, decided I was going to make it on my own, made my life over, achieved what I set my mind to do, learned that love is something completely different that what I had with you, my heart revived, had fun with my people, distracted myself in my writings, made myself an independent woman with no man for a year, graduated high school, lost myself into a depression for being alone for so long...And, now?
You are finally out of my heart for good.
This September, I have hope that I will love again soon. The turnabout is complete. I'm finally free.
:)
Why are some girls so naive ? Sweetie, he didn’t unbutton your blouse to get a better view of your heart.
i wish you're not tied up so that we can play 'spot me' in this white space :)
After everyday that I see you, I have to come here and write about you, because who else but a bunch of strangers who probably do the same, could understand how I feel?
I don't understand how I can be so happy yet so intensely sad at the same time, Kevster.
Bogie,
I think Neruda wrote 20 Love Poems and a Song of Despair just for you. You're the most beautiful thing in the world.
Yours always,
Bacall
I'm pissed. You know why? Because I set myself up to be the best friend once again. He even said it. 2 weeks, that's all we've known each other, 2 weeks! And he is already saying, "You are my new best friend; we're going to be buddies; et cetera..." I like sports, I'm competitive, and I can hold my own in a verbal and physical brawl, but I am still a girl! I still want to be liked. I know everyone says I'll be every guy's "dream wife," because I can talk sports and cook and clean. People always say that I'm going to be "the one that got away," but how is that possible if I never have anyone to get away from? Because they are always after my friends, the girl down the street, never me. It will never be me.
Jonathan- I miss you so much, I miss that day in study hall when we passed notes 3 years ago. I miss the day of our Barnes and Noble Winnie the Pooh perfomance. I miss seeing you every day and freaking out when you weren't at school on time. I miss the times when we tried to solve the mystery at our school. I miss the day of the Walt Disney project meeting, when everyone basically took a vote on our "cuteness level". I personally would rather go to the aquarium with you than some place haunted, simply because I want you to see me someplace I love and you love too. We can pet the sharks and sturgeon and say "Oh my Gar" when we pass the Tennessee river exhibit. Because I miss seeing you and seeing you in a good mood. -Suzannah